if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
