so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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