you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
