Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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