I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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