Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
