he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
