and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
it was like eating out sand paper
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Randomize
