last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
