Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
