I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
