its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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