i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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