We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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