going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
