She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
