my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
