So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize