Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize