i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
