I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
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she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
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i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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