Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize