I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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