you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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