Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
True strength comes from lack of pants
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