Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
