I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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