I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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