i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
