im drinking this country out of the recession.
i think my mom watched the whole time
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
