and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
