I think I died a long time ago.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
