Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We just shotgunned beers for America
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
