So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
