So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
