like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
