Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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