So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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