3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
no you cant smoke seaweed
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
