I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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