Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Come share oat with me in your robe
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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