Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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