Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.

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  (781): Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning. (1-781): I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon. http://tfl.nu/wxu1
  Replies (19) Good night (6173) Bad night (678)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again

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  (814): I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again http://tfl.nu/580i
  Replies (12) Good night (3151) Bad night (896)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.

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  (813): I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester. http://tfl.nu/cawp
  Replies (25) Good night (3208) Bad night (848)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.

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  (502): there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me. http://tfl.nu/l22j
  Replies (11) Good night (4913) Bad night (1224)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?

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  (908): how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer? http://tfl.nu/a07e
  Replies (20) Good night (6639) Bad night (1113)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.

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  (513): I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food. http://tfl.nu/mdny
  Replies (4) Good night (2600) Bad night (824)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.

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  (810): I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours. http://tfl.nu/82rg
  Replies (4) Good night (1046) Bad night (2277)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..

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  (443): I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night.. http://tfl.nu/hua7
  Replies (3) Good night (2131) Bad night (1023)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.

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  (207): Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers. http://tfl.nu/zz2j
  Replies (4) Good night (1935) Bad night (1429)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?

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  (334): Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is? http://tfl.nu/g1vx
  Replies (7) Good night (2855) Bad night (874)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts

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  (910): I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts http://tfl.nu/bmph
  Replies (14) Good night (1280) Bad night (640)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.

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  (434): They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me. http://tfl.nu/rhi7
  Replies (3) Good night (1966) Bad night (377)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.

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  (720): The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby. http://tfl.nu/rm20
  Replies (3) Good night (975) Bad night (401)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly

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  (443): Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly (443): Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly http://tfl.nu/ja6d
  Replies (0) Good night (484) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache

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  (773): He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache http://tfl.nu/46b1
  Replies (12) Good night (181) Bad night (1375)

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