Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dating After Heartbreak
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line