if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
