so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
