I should be sponsored by Trojan
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
