Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
