I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
