Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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