Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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