no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
