I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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