I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
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