How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
