addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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