the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
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Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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