Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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