every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
